I need to stay off people.com

6/26/2008 – 12:59 pm | by Mary

Because celebrities are much too much fodder for irritation. Case in point:

I get it that women can’t seem to put away the Uggs. I thought these gems were Uggs at first but on second viewing, I see they are mere boots. No matter, because plenty of people still wear both. In summer.

So, Uggs… I thought at some point they’d fly up to the Out section of Style Heaven in the sky - to be welcomed by the outstretched elastic legs of stirrup pants… but, no. The Uggs are still here.

I don’t hate them, exactly, but they’re not my choice in footwear. I’m sure they’re comfy, like a warm fleece blankie. But I live in Arizona and there’s really no time that the temperature is cold enough to wear them. NO THERE IS NOT STOP LYING RIGHT NOW.

Regular boots, yes, for about a month and a half. They have a time and a place, summer not being it. That said, I beseech the women in Phoenix to put the boots up, bitch! Put ‘em away! It’s 115 degrees outside! Buy some freaking flip flops! You’re making me hot just looking at your unseasonably dumb ass!

Back to Hillary. Her ass is in California and while I know y’alls temps dropped after your (4 day long - I’m bitter) heat wave, they can’t have dropped THAT much. It’s still summer, and it’s still California. It never rains in Southern California and all that.

With that in mind I screech: BOOTS AND A SCARF? With shorts? Really, Hillary, REALLY?

That Vanessa Hussy-gens article yesterday and this today I have to say that sometimes, I truly feel celebrities just like to fuck with us. They’re laughing at as, they have to be. They want to see if we follow their lead and when we do, they then can laugh and giggle in their retribution for us reading (and believing) those assholes at TMZ and that crap ass US magazine.

Unless. Hillary has a scarf covering a newly received hickey. Well! That changes the story altogether. I applaud her ingenious!

Why, when I was 17 and after I received my first (yes, my first at 17 and not a year sooner) hickey - I told my mom I burnt myself with the curling iron! The next time it happened (shut it), I told her I was allergic to my perfume!

So a scarf, huh? Yeah, okay, that explains that… but, what the hell’s up with the boots?

P.S. Her man looks like Tom Brady so I hate him on sight. The End.

 

11 Comments | Posted in » Celebs

Work it out

6/25/2008 – 10:48 am | by Mary

I don’t normally get all that irritated by the stupid things celebrities say. Honestly, if I got worked up every time a celebrity said something dumb, I’d be upset all the time and you know what that means? No time for sex.

But this? This article irritated me. You want to know why? Oh, hush and listen anyway.

Not only is it on the front page of people.com but the headline screams out (Vanessa Hudgens Reveals Secret to a Great Relationship!) like this pipsqueak is really revealing something of value. Not only that, they refer to this knowledge as “sage” within the piece. Sage advice from a 19-year-old. Ain’t that rich.

I want to stop seeing so many stories about High School Musical, those bitches from the Hills and who the hell are those people from Gossip Girl? I’m not saying you can’t enjoy these shows but I’m growing a little weary of People dedicating so much ink to them.

Back to this bullshit article. Off the top, I’m going to need someone older than 19 with more than a year’s worth of dating experience to tell me anything about anything. Relationships, where to buy groceries or how to squeeze a lemon.

Secondly, her advice is stupid. I was trying to think of a better word to counteract that “sage” bullshit but I can’t think of one. To say that relationships don’t require work is dumb, its misleading, it sets people up for failure. And I hate when people set others up for failure by acting as if their relationships are f’ing perfect.

I think we all deserve love. I love love! Yes, I’m aware you were operating under the impression that my heart is black as stone, but, there’s a tiny portion reserved for “love”.

You know what I have learned about relationships? Relationships ARE work. It’s not bad to admit that. The days when R is bugging the shit out of me? It takes a conscious effort to not go off on him, start a fight, argue and break up. Heh.

Like it all happens like that, right? WELL, it could and that’s my point. It’s work to not be selfish, to put someone’s needs before your own, to not always make someone’s life miserable and maybe even make them happy every now and again. That last part is probably harder for me than most of the population but, hey.

Now with R gone all the time, what the hell is this, a tea party? It doesn’t take WORK and EFFORT and DEDICATION to keep this thing called a relationship chugging along? *slap forehead*

You know, on second thought, I really don’t know what I should expect from a couple that shares the same hair styling products.

Back to work. Happy Hump Day.

11 Comments | Posted in » Bitch Fest, Celebs, MEN!
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