Not So Blonde

Spooky Stories

I was cruising thru some older posts back when I was bartending in 2005. Were those ever some good times. Other than R still living in NYC and missing him like cookies miss milk (I have no idea, just go with it), it was a fun time in my life. I made a new category called “Barfly” to house them all, but, I got bored halfway through transferring them. I’m fickle.

I do like a good majority of the posts from that “era”. Like is a strong word. I can tolerate reading them again and giggle - that’s more like it. I think it’s probably in no small part to being drunk half the time I was writing them. Hey, you work in a bar? You drink!

The post in particular that I was looking for is this one, when I talked about the bar I worked in being haunted. Let’s just say, I’ll never listen to this song the same way again:

I bring this up to say, y’all, I’m now convinced my CUBE (or one right by it) is haunted, toooo. A cube ghost! Noooooo… anything but that!! An old dark bar I can see possibly being haunted but a CUBE??

I really shouldn’t be talking about this. Entertaining the thought of even going there, as not-so-serious as I might be, is just plain dumb. This is a bee that’s damn near afraid of her own shadow but I’ll sit here typing about ghosts when I’m home alone…

Spooky! I just got chills. But I’ve come this far there’s no sense in turning the blog around now…

The place I work at clears out hella early. I’m talking by 4:04pm you’re probably going to be one of a handful of people still remaining. The reason for this is, work starts for a lot of my co-workers at 4 or 5 in the morning. By the time I stumble my way in at 7am (fine, 7:05 - who are you? MY BOSS?) most of them will look at me like: What took you so long?

I’ve been staying later at work because, well, I have no life and I’m never in a rush to get home with R gone. (Don’t cry for me, Argentinaaaaaaaaaaaa!) Not only that but if I’m going to do some overtime this Saturday wearing this get up:

You can best believe I’m working four 10-hour-days to push that entire Saturday’s work into overtime (Friday’s a holiday, kids).

So I’m sitting there typing away, when I hear faint, but, pretty clear typing in the cube next to mine. I wanted to call out to the project manager that occupies that cube but you know when you get that feeling… that someone’s… not going to answer?

Because you know they’re probably not there?

Because said PM left hours before and would have announced himself if he returned?

I convinced myself it was a more distant cube and it was some strange echoing going on. Never you mind I work in a hallway kind of one to itself but you know, the mind believes what the mind wants to believe.

I continue to sit at my desk, finishing up some work from the dreaded MONTH MOTHERF’ING END and all the while, I’m hearing this typing. Every time I hear it, I convince myself I’m not hearing it. Maybe my toothache is starting to affect my hearing. It can do that, you know.

One of the few people that has a key to the joint happens past my cube and says, “Burning the midnight oil, Mary? I see you’re the last woman standing!” Gulp…

If I’m the last woman standing, where was the mysterious typing coming from? This co-worker’s office is clear on the other side of the building. I don’t care how faulty and weird ductwork can be, there’s no way I would have heard her typing.

I jump out of my seat like a match was lit under my ass, grab my purse and exclaim, “Well, that’s a bad reputation to have!” I scurry past the cube the typing seemed to have been coming from and I didn’t want to look… but I couldn’t help myself… I glance over quickly and just as I suspected - CUE SLASHER MOVIE MUSIC - it was empty!

I beat it out of there so fast. I beat it out of there faster than… things get beat. Fast, okay? FAST. I think I’ve heebee jeebee’d myself sufficiently for one night, how about you? I’ll end on a lighter note…

I killed (bad choice of words) a couple of hours, easy, reading some older posts. I especially enjoyed reading about when R and I were first together (saying things like “We’ve been together a YEAR” like I was all tough and stuff) and when the teen actually talked and joked with me. Or, rather, talked to me at all. Oh, how I miss it. A sampling…

Me: Man, you are so lucky you got my sense of humor because your Dad? Nada.
Dictator: What are you talking about? You aren’t funny. Tell me something you said that’s funny.
Me: Uhh… that one time when we were driving and I forgot to turn the headlights on and I told you that people in other cars probably thought it was the night driving past!
Dictator: That’s not funny.
Me: You laughed.
Dictator: I laughed because it’s corny, not funny. There IS a difference, Mom. Call me when you find something you’re good at, ‘kay?

Just so you know the kid ended that conversation by saying that he knew something I was good at. When I asked what, he said: “Being my mom.” Invasion of the Teen Body Snatchers, I command you to bring my son back!

And if not that, than bring me a damn drink!

I’ll let you hold the keys to the Lex

The title is from Just in Case by Jaheim, it’s one of the band’s break songs and I swear I’ve heard that shit about 452 times since I started working at the bar. What does that mean? You’re gonna let me hold the keys? Why don’t you give me the keys and you go get yourself another ride, okay, Jaheim? How ’bout that?

I’m sleepy. Anyone else really tired? No? It could be due to the fact that I’m up after 4am - and you’re not! I had a good night at the bar. We usually are very busy on First Fridays and plus, I had a couple of large parties. Sometimes, those can be a real pain in the ass but tonight’s were cool. The majority of the time, they take up an inordinate amount of space, they don’t order from me and just walk to the bar or they’re really unorganized, don’t know what they want or double order a lot. PITA! That’s pain in the ass for those playing along at home. But tonight, was good. I got a $50 tip from one table alone so you won’t hear me complaining. You hear me complaining? Noooo…

We hired a new girl and I’m really, truly hoping to drop Saturdays and work only Fridays from now on. I’m not willing yet to give up on the bar entirely because I love the extra money, and making some cash in between paydays at the day job. Tres lovely, it is.

Speaking of the day job, I may be getting a promotion of sorts. I won’t really get into it other than to say I wasn’t thrilled at the prospect at first but then I talked to my career counselor aka R-uh and now I’m anxious to take on the challenge. I’ll keep you posted.

I’ve decided a few things for the New Year. I won’t call them resolutions because my only resolution is to not make resolutions:

~ I’m keeping that man of mine as long as he’ll have me. I figure anyone that never ceases to amaze me after a year and a half of dating is a keeper and I’m keepin’ him.

~ I’m having a big birthday party for myself this year. I was in a funk last year and only did something because Nic made me. Heh. No, it was a lot of fun but I’m kicking it up a notch for the big 3-4. LaSean has been elected/elected himself part of the official party planning committee and it’s gonna be off the hook, y’all. We’re going to check out some hotel suites soon to pick a prime spot and nail down some of the details. My birthday is not til April but with what we’re planning, it’s not too soon! If you want to be on the invite list, holla!

I can’t believe I just said “holla”. It must be late.

~ I’m sticking to my savings plan. I need to. I opened the kid a Young Savers account a few weeks ago and I swear I’ll stick chopsticks in my eyes before ever withdrawing money from it. I deposited $30 in it last payday and I want to stick to regularly doing so. I have my own savings at another bank with no ATM card attached to it so I seriously have to go out of my damn way to take anything out so I hope to leave that alone, too. I know it’s not a big deal to people that have always had little pockets of savings here and there but its a huge thing for me. Mostly because I never had anything TO save.

~ I need to be better about keeping in touch with my friends. I went through my depressed phase and honestly, when I’m in those stages you probably don’t want to talk to me. But there are friends of mine that have had my back and been worried about me, and now that I’m doing better - I’m so busy that its hard to find the time to keep in contact. But V, Jaye and Nik - thanks for sticking by me and I hope to see you all soon.

I need to hit the bed. If Lionel keeps up his late night running on his wheel like he has the last 2 nights, he’s going in the kid’s room - all by himself! - and I don’t care how lonely he gets. Night, all!