About Me


My name is Mary. Welcome to my blog.

I actually kind of hate the word “blog”. I can’t decide if its due to the media running the word into the ground or if it’s my boyfriend’s fault for standing behind me at the computer asking in a mocking tone, “What are you blogging about, blogger?”

It’s a toss up, really.

I’m thirtysomething which means I’m the past the point of caring to remember the exact number. Well, other than on the days I need to feel pretty. That’s when like to throw the number out to get people’s surprised reactions, while they fawn all over me saying I don’t look it. They’re undoubtedly lying through their teeth but it feels good nonetheless.

I have a 14 year old son that you will see called the Dictator, the kid or the teen depending on how I’m feeling that day. I haven’t started calling him the freeloader yet - I’ll let him slide til he’s 18. By then, I hope he’s safely off to college and only visiting weekends to do his laundry. Also by that time, I hope he will have grown out of the surly teen phase he’s in now.

I’m from Portland, Oregon but I live in Phoenix, Arizona. Yes, it’s hot as hell. But we like to say “suck it” to the people in other states who make fun of us in the summer by having 70° winters. Suck it! Never mind. It’s summer.

I’m an Aries which means I’m a complete emotional nut job but I own my complete emotional nut job-ness. I think this somehow makes me kinda lovable.

To R, anyway.

R is my boyfriend of going on 4 years and typing that makes me feel like a grown up. Four years? One person? Really?

I got married when I was 20, became a mom at 22 and divorced at 24. I was worried the entire year after turning 26 that something major would happen (nothing did).

I dated and partied up the rest of my 20’s (which was actually a lot of fun - most of the time) so having A Real Grown-Up Relationship is big for me.

I love:

my family, my friends, that R “gets” me, cooking, waffles, peanut butter cookies, the words “scintillating” and “conundrum” although I always forget to drop them in every day conversation, writing, trashy reality TV, coffee, cheese popcorn, Stephanie Plum, how my hair looks after I flat-iron it, watching DVDs (I pause a hundred times in one viewing), Toni Collette, other people’s pets, New York City, sushi, sweet martinis, Los Angeles (actually, pretty much all of California is alright with me - except that middle part), the New York Mets (shut it), baseball in general, sharing a joke with my son (few and far between lately - he’s too angst ridden for LAUGHS), my independence, that R appreciates my independence yet lets me cry on his shoulder anyway, email (hate IM’ing), telling goofy stories and making people laugh, poking fun at life and enjoying it for what it is: short.

I can’t stand:

people who don’t use spell check and expect me to actually read what they have written, the fact I work to live instead of live to work, long absences away from my sugar plum sweetie pie, having to do all the household chores when the aforementioned SPSP is away during those extended periods, when I need my roots done (hence the name of the blog) being guilted into doing things (this occurs quite often since not only am I a mother, I also have a major martyr streak), that I live so far from a great deal of my family (yet love it at the same time), calamari, runny eggs, dirty martinis and horror flicks.

Thank you for visiting. Feedback is always appreciated as are gifts, cupcakes and cash.