Not So Blonde

Misery loves company. Or, just likes to get it really drunk so it can laugh at it

I sometimes say the time R is away would go by much faster if I could date while he was gone. Of course I’m joking, if you don’t know I’m joking than, well, whatever.

I will say I’m fascinated by dating blogs. I like reading all about dating adventures and the bullshit that happens when one is out and about in the dating world.

Not that I miss it, too much, but okay… I kind of miss it. Actually, I don’t miss being single at all, I miss the companionship and dates buying me shit. And by buying me shit, I mean: food.

I love food. And food always tastes better when it’s free. And I love cocktails. And cocktails always taste better… Well, cocktails taste good regardless.

I miss getting dolled up, eating food, drinking cocktails and being squired around. Squired… *snicker* That makes me think of this:

Please tell me I’m not the only one old enough to remember this song.

One of the “exes” (he’s married now) and I chatted a bit on Facebook IM a couple of days ago. Normally, I don’t really like chatting anywhere with anyone, much less on Facebook. Gone are the days I’d have 6-7 IM windows open, keeping track of wildly divergent conversations while attempting to not send the wrong response to the wrong person.

Does anyone else shun IM’ing these days? I think I’d almost rather talk on the phone and if you know one thing about me, I HATE talking on the phone. But I think I’d rather clean out the cat box, while on the phone, than IM.

Anyway, the conversation on Facebook wasn’t that bad, sweet, actually. Talking about our respective relationships and telling each other we were glad the other was happy. I’m thinking it probably wasn’t the most riveting conversation for the guy but, hey, it is what it is.

One thing he said that amused me was that he had never seen me so public with a relationship, and he and I have known one another for at least… 10 years??? I wish I could sit down and remember, but I don’t. Time gets away when you get as old as me: TRUE STORY.

I had to kind of giggle at that statement, though, me being so public with R. Like I was keeping these other “involvements” under wraps, purposely not telling anyone a thing while I was busy being squired around town drinking cocktails and eating free food. Makes me sound like a player, I kind of like it.

But let’s be honest, Facebook and other online apps of the like, they don’t really hide much of anything. Someone changes their status from “in a relationship” to “single” and within an hour I see that person with a multitude of condolence comments.

The other factor is, and I’ve talked of it before, I don’t think of me being in a real relationship with much of anyone from the past. So why would I go around shouting from the rooftops that I have more-than-a-booty-call, less-than-an-engagement-ring with any old guy?

Since I don’t “count” many of my past involvements, the list of “exes” is understandably short. If I was being SUPER generous, I’d probably say I have 3 exes, not counting the kid’s dad. And I only say they’re an “ex” because of how they touched ME and my life, I have no idea how THEY feel.

Lastly, R and I have been together a long ass time. How do you hide 4.5 years of your life intertwined with someone else? Scary thought.

And, yes, here I go admitting I chatted with an “ex” when I always say I’m not big on being friends with them. Chatting once every blue moon is one thing, staying wrapped up in someone’s life unless you’re court ordered to do so is another. Trust me, if you’re court ordered to put up with an ex’s shit, staying friends with any of the others loses all of it’s panache.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this. I’m mostly just posting because I’m bored and bummed the TWoP forums on The Real Househos of Orange County has been closed. What a pisser. See, not only do I watch way too much reality TV, talk about the people featured like I know them, but I also read all about them online.

Not that I post there, I’m too chicken, oh! But I lurk like a mofo. It’s sick, I know. I feel dirty doing it yet I can’t help myself.

Speaking of feeling dirty, who else was grossed out by Tamra’s behavior at her dinner party? Even Malarkey (I like him, by the way) and Andy Cohen (he bugs, although I have new-found respect for him after putting RHoA’s Kim on the spot) both weighed in they were shocked by the behavior of the Barney clan. Whom I like to now refer to as: The Family That Preys.

I’m on the fence with Gretchen. I don’t really get her. I don’t know that I’d act the way she acts with a fiancee battling cancer but I’ve been willing to concede the point that I’m not in her shoes, so I really don’t know. She’s also a huge flirt and seems like she craves and NEEDS the acceptance of men. It’s all very strange BUT…

I would hope if I WERE ever in that position, that anyone (friend or otherwise) would not ply me with drinks to the point of wanting to get me “naked drunk” so I’d make an ass out of myself. And then, keep their creepy prematurely balding son waiting in the wings in order to put their moves on me in my inebriated state. Ick. Just, ick. I have to say it was the most uncomfortable 15-20 minutes of reality TV that I have ever watched, and this coming from a girl that watches the Bret Michaels Bus of F*** Tour.

Question of the day. What would you rather buy… this:

Or this…

With that, I’m off, NOT to read the TWoP boards. *sniffle*