Adieu?
So when I said I thought I was ready to give up the blog, I meant it. This isn’t some idle threat to get anyone to say: No! Don’t go!
I’m just over it. And when I’m over something, it’s hard to come back and convince myself differently.
One part that keeps me hanging on is I think I’ll need the blog some day, or I’ll miss it. But I just as quickly think: But I don’t miss it, really. I can tell you how many times I thought of my blog on that 2 week break and that would be, um, none.
The other thing keeping me going is that I’ll miss my blogging peeps because I love so many of you. And that is the one and only reason I’ll hold off on my decision for a couple more weeks.
I know, you’re crying over there. Rivers of tears.
R said the funniest thing when I saw him this last time: Bloggers always think they think of things first. Like no one did it before them, but there’s only so many ways people can express themselves.
Amen, brother.
More and more I see the same things over and over. Paragraphs of speech that all sound the same, and I think of myself first and foremost when I say that.
I don’t feel that I’m really saying anything original anymore.
I miss R more than I can ever express. I hate this teen thing more than I care to share. I don’t have much more to say.
It’s been over 4 years. The length of my relationship with R. I can’t believe I stuck with it this long.
R asked me recently what I would do if we ever broke up. I thought about it, got a little choked up but turned to him and said: I’d be devastated. But I’ve dealt with worse. I’d move on.
I think it’s my time to move on. From blogging, that is. R won’t be rid of me that easily.
Speaking of… R’s and my (self appointed) new anthem:
It’s been real, folks. See you soon. Maybe. ;)
27 Responses to “Adieu?”
Natalie on Sep 15, 2008 | Reply
So sad. I totally understand that this is the natural path your life takes but I will miss you for purely selfish reasons. I hope you drop me an email now and then because I know I will need some advice someday and hope I can count on you. Even though I haven’t always been here. Take care and go out and get everything you deserve.
S on Sep 15, 2008 | Reply
I dont like this one bit!!!!! Well, unless it really is what is best for you… and then I guess I am supportive. ;)
If you decide to stop for good I hope you keep in touch.
Just a thought… maybe the blog will be a good distraction from missing R?
Like I have said before… I am here if you need anything. I really hope you keep in touch via blog or email.
Nicola on Sep 15, 2008 | Reply
Awww :-( We’ll miss you! I hope you’ll still keep in touch with the flickring and twittering if the blog does go?
Hot Girl Extraordinaire on Sep 16, 2008 | Reply
This sucks - not just that you’re leaving but that I can’t even give you shit for it because I don’t even keep a blog. Just know you are an awesome writer and I have enjoyed being a reader. And know that I will stalk you for updates through Mia ;)
HGE
Deb on Sep 16, 2008 | Reply
Either way, I hope that you find a good, healthy distraction from missing R and that the time that he is gone flys by for you. Good luck!
Brandi on Sep 16, 2008 | Reply
I can totally understand. That’s what happened to me. I just didn’t feel like doing it anymore.
I will miss you. You ALWAYS have a way of cracking me the hell up.
MUAH!
Cereal Dieter on Sep 16, 2008 | Reply
awwwww, this really sucks! I understand though that it is your choice and your life and you have to do what you need to do.
I have enjoyed reading you blog and will definitely miss you if you do stop!
We’ll still have flickr, right???
nancy k on Sep 16, 2008 | Reply
you will do what is right for you. maybe a different kind of blog, maybe no blog at all. i know how it goes; my enthusiasm for mine waxes and wanes.
i can still stalk you just as easily via facebook and myspace. ;)
love ya girlie bird.
xoxo
inga on Sep 16, 2008 | Reply
See you at the crossroads, homie. lmao *hand salute*
I’ll be in touch.
Angel on Sep 16, 2008 | Reply
Well we still have flickr and the big ol great MS right? Quit doing those girly and I will have a problem! LOL
I get it, but only because you write so well that its like I am right there carrying on a convo with you. You’re writing is amazing and I will miss (guilt guilt) it. LOL Seriously though, I get it. KIT! Friends 4 eva. LOL
Maria on Sep 16, 2008 | Reply
:( Not happy. Not at all. I mean damn.
dmac on Sep 16, 2008 | Reply
well, i’m sad to see you go, but you have to do what’s best for you. i’ve really enjoyed reading about your life and times, but nothing stays the same forever. take care of yourself and i wish you all the best. i’ll miss you. bye.
Kari on Sep 16, 2008 | Reply
What ever is right for you is the way to go. It’s not like if you change your mind you can’t start up another one, ya know?
Of course the only reason I feel this way is because I have alternate ways of checking in on you via social networking :-)
Amn.eris on Sep 16, 2008 | Reply
I do understand. I haven’t really blogged in months and I don’t really miss it.
At least I know where to find you. *snicker* :D
So Prila on Sep 17, 2008 | Reply
You are one of my bestest friends… in my head anyways.
i’m gonna miss you like mccain misses hair.
i wanna beg you not to go, but that would be selfish.
take care of yourself, you are absolutley awesome.
you always brighten my dull workday mornings with your stories and your unique perspective on life.
i don’t wanna be sad, but it’s only natural to feel something.
so i guess i’ll feel bithcy, and malevolent, with a touch of ennui for good measure.
watch out fuckers!
Betty on Sep 17, 2008 | Reply
Twitter is the new blog anyway. So they say. hehe.
princessdominique on Sep 17, 2008 | Reply
Do what you gotta do. My diary when I was 16 and my journal was the say way, I had a crush every other day of the week but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. If I stopped blogging I would probably still vent and make my posts private somewhere to help me keep my sanity. Who cares about originality, I write novels for a living and they say that there are only 7 premises that you can contrive for a book, the only thing you can change is the method of getting there, the peoples names and maybe the car they drive. I’ll be here if you come back. You know where to find me. I’m building a brand :)
princessdominique on Sep 17, 2008 | Reply
oops “same way”
Char on Sep 17, 2008 | Reply
Do what you have to do. Ironically I started my blog again once R left. Writing was my creative outlet then. I feel you though for real.
Lisa on Sep 17, 2008 | Reply
I’m totally bummed out since I recently found your blog but I totally understand where you are coming from. I’ve honestly thought of giving it up myself on more than one occasion. I wish you the best no matter what you decide.
maria on Sep 18, 2008 | Reply
No dammit ! :-) Ah well…you gotta do what you gotta do…I get it. All the very very best to you Mary.Your blog is seriously one of my favorites, even though I rarely comment.
Mary on Sep 18, 2008 | Reply
Noooooooo!!!!! At least I live in the valley so maybe we can try to have that lunch we talked about. I have a contract with Honeywell right now and am at Washington and 36th St. That is pretty close to your work….right?
Neil on Sep 19, 2008 | Reply
It is always sad to see a nice blogger return to the real world. But I perfectly understand. And never say never.
Veruka on Sep 19, 2008 | Reply
Please say it isn’t so! I’m one to talk, because I don’t even have a blog, but I look forward to reading about your crazy life. If you must leave I wish you the best and may the time fly before you are with R again!
trac on Sep 21, 2008 | Reply
totally understand- I’ve felt that way a million times.
keep in touch !!
MissPrissy on Sep 22, 2008 | Reply
Girl…I think you’ll be back, eventually:)
I’ll see you on Twitter? yes?
Love ya!
evil charity on Sep 23, 2008 | Reply
Yours is one of the first blogs I read and you will definitely be missed should you decide not to continue. I hope that even if you’re not blogging that you continue to write in some form as you have a great talent for it. Someday I’ll get my butt back in gear with flickr and will hopefully see you there. Take care!