Trolls and their hairy eyebrows
I could be doing 10 other things but I’m going to blog instead. I have a lot of nervous energy (combined with 2 cups of coffee) and I can’t concentrate on a book, a movie, laundry, sleep. Well, I can’t sleep another minute after putting in 23 hours in the past 2 days.
I do think I’ll be pretty much a mess until I see R on Friday. By that time it will be nearly 2 months since I’ve seen him and I’m so anxious I can’t stand myself.
I’m very well aware of the fact 2 months is a drop in the bucket compared to how long it’s going to be before I see him again - but it’s been a rough 2 months, y’all.
For a moment part of me was worried that by seeing him next weekend I’d have to start the whole separation process over again, and the thought frightened me.
But then I remembered I’m only on about Step Two of the Separation Process so it doesn’t matter much anyway. So I’ll have to go back to walking around like a zombie at work and crying at the drop of a dime for a week - big whoop.
I know I sound like - woe, is me and boo hoo - and hell yeah, I am. I look at couples lately and roll my eyes. Mutter, “Fuck you, you smug together assholes” while giving my hair a toss as I flounce away. Okay, so maybe I just roll my eyes. And toss my hair.
I’m glad that I’m not one of those women that is trying to get pregnant and has to stare at all these damn babies everywhere. I’d be a baby snatching fool, think I wouldn’t?
Not that I’m about to boyfriend-nap anyone’s beloved any time soon, especially that bitch’s (sorry, I’m cranky) pipsqueak of a boyfriend at Game Stop the other day.
There I am with the boy, waiting in line so the kid can trade in some of his games for a new one. I used to be dead-set against this practice but then a light dawned and I realized, these games I spent my hard earned money on are never going to be played again. Ever. Might as well let the kid trade them in so he can get yet more games and I don’t have to buy them. With my hard earned money. When there are so many Microsoft points to purchase.
So the teen and I are standing there in line behind this dude, a dude that turns around to look at me no less than 7-8 times in a short time span (I’d give you a more accurate assessment of the minutes that had elapsed but any line seems interminable to me).
Now I’m not saying that by the guy turning around to stare that many times in the undetermined amount of time that he did it in, that I’m some kind of irresistible vixen and men can’t help but stare. The pipsqueak assessment of this guy is a pretty accurate one. Or, troll.
Troll’s girlfriend (with a most unfortunate eyebrow situation - Troll’s girlfriend, meet Nads. Yesterday) eventually becomes hip to the Troll’s wandering eye. Eyebrow(s) decides to counteract this turn of events by sticking her tongue down her Troll’s throat while glancing a hand around his balls.
I was trying to put that a nicer way since “balls” is not the nicest word. But then again, this was done in a youth-driven establishment and was a pretty stomach-turning display, why try and sugar coat it?
I was offended by this entire scene on 2 levels. The fact that Eyebrow(s) could for one moment think her troll-man had any chance with alla ‘dis *runs hands up and down supple body* is an assault to my sensibilities.
Then, the fact that she’d tongue kiss him and graze his balls (as if in promise for something to come later) when he just got caught red-handed (eyed?) giving another woman the hairy eyeball?! What the fuck is this girl thinking?
If I caught R checking out some chick that many (any) time(s) he wouldn’t get a tongue anywhere near his mouth, balls, ear for a month. At least! He’d be lucky if I didn’t hit him over the head with my purse old-school style and march my ass right out of Game Stop without once looking back.
Yes, I’m a jealous person so shut it. I’ll also thank you kindly to indulge me this:
I guess I’ll go find some laundry to do, books to read, movies to watch… wish me luck.
12 Responses to “Trolls and their hairy eyebrows”
Corey on Aug 3, 2008 | Reply
Ugh, as a whole I really hate PDA anyways but seriously that is all kinds of foul. Yick.
Although the mental image of all this is quite amusing… lol.
Yay for R time!!!!!!! Seeing him is worth a loss of a step in the process!
inga on Aug 3, 2008 | Reply
You are so cute Mary, with your little countdown ticker (Lol)!!
And ewww to the girlfriend for doing something so tacky!! I would have laughed at her ass.
C on Aug 3, 2008 | Reply
Aww, i love that you put an annoying animated counter on this post. I hope the week goes by fast for you!
Maria on Aug 3, 2008 | Reply
I’m jealous too. I have issues.
Kari on Aug 3, 2008 | Reply
Yuck! I don’t mind PDAs normally if it’s a tasteful peck on the lips, but anything beyond that I just don’t need to see. Blehk!
nancy k on Aug 3, 2008 | Reply
oy vey with the icky people pda.
awwwww with the countdown.
i hope you enjoy your time with r, luv!
mia. on Aug 3, 2008 | Reply
I am so disgusted by the scene but those two sound like they deserve each other.
*throwing up a little in my mouth*
I am so excited that you are going to see R in such a short amount of time, but you killed me with the counter!
Veronica on Aug 4, 2008 | Reply
Oh Mary, I do love you so! Thanks for a laugh on a crappy Monday morning.
PS: I feel bad lamenting Rob’s week on / week off schedule on my myspace blog when you are going through far worse. Just know that I was thinking of you when I wrote it and you are totally entitled to calling me names and rolling your eyes if you read it.
mike on Aug 4, 2008 | Reply
clllllllllllassic.
Angel on Aug 4, 2008 | Reply
Ok I am way too much of a imaginative person for this entire scene, because I cry FOUL! Ewe vomit.
Girl just a few more days. It would be hard either way and I think at least this way, you get to have some time with him before he has to leave. That will help.
I hate that I can’t see the pics you place on your blog when I read from work. Dammmmit! LOL
Anne on Aug 4, 2008 | Reply
I hate going into GameStop! I wonder how my boyfriend can spend so much money in there, and then realize that I’m jealous because it’s the one store where I really won’t find *anything* I want…
LOL@ your ‘all’a dis’ reference.
Cereal Dieter on Aug 4, 2008 | Reply
lmao at the hairy eyeball!!!! Too funny… All that tongue action in public is just plain gross!
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