Not So Blonde

Remixing it up

The kid is letting me have the computer so I figured I’d use the time wisely (cha!) and post something, just a little catch-up on things, life, whatnot…

For those not in the know of knowing, I joined the Wardrobe Remix group on Flickr and began snapping a photo of myself every morning before leaving for work.

I felt myself fall into a rut of not dressing all that well when R left (I have to think of a better word, that makes it seem like he dumped my ass or something. Well, he sorta did. For that woman named Navy).

It’s not that I was smokin’ up the place with my ensembles before, but I was really starting to let myself go the month following his departure. Not unlike how I was letting myself go when I was desperately unhappy at a job a few years back.

Well, that was more the job I hated and not that I was sad with R away (even though he lived in NY at the time) but I started to feel myself waking every day and carrying myself in a similar (non) fashion. Generally not caring about my appearance or attempting to look my best.

Back then, I would look down at myself during the work day while sighing inwardly, “Girlfriend, get it together. Did you even shower today?” Some days, admittedly, I did not.

That is another nice thing about getting older. You see yourself going down paths that you had taken before, and you can attempt to head them off before things get ugly. Really ugly.

To be honest, I do feel a bit narcissistic posting so many photos of myself. Not to mention, I’m not in the best shape I’ve ever been in considering back pain = no gym in a while, but caring more about me and holding myself accountable has helped tremendously.

I DO try to mix up the photostream so it’s not all me, me, me all the damn time but I do greatly appreciate those that not only put up with those photos, but leave comments that have your girl feeling rather good about herself.

Did I just, sorta, kinda talk of myself in the 3rd person? Let’s disregard that, shall we?

With this new ME, ALL THE TIME project, I have gotten to the point where I’ll snap a photo and realize what I’m wearing doesn’t look all that scrumptious, and I’ll change into something else. Hey, R said to keep busy. I do nothing if not listen to that man.

The byproduct of this has been getting hit on a bit more. Imagine that, you dress better and feel good about yourself, might even a crack a smile a time or two throughout the day … and men start thinking you want ‘em and shit.

Well, I don’t know if the particular person I’m about to dish on thinks I want him, at least, he better not because I shut that fool down every chance I get.

Don’t you love when you’re pretty certain a guy likes you and you have absolutely no interest? It’s the best drug ever. Put down that crack pipe, and put down that man!

Not that I put him down needlessly and wantonly, necessarily, but he does things like stopping by my cube and saying:

“I’m leaving for the day.”

He started doing this a couple of weeks ago and the first time it happened, I sat there for a moment, perplexed. We don’t work directly together, I wouldn’t even notice he was gone so why the progress report?

I dragged my eyes slowly from my computer screen since I was probably busy emailing Inga, Jo, Mia or I might even have been doing some work.

I turned my head to look in his direction like it was the last thing I wanted to do, gave him the most withering gaze and said, “Are we dating? And I didn’t know about it?”

To Marco’s (that’s his real name. I could think of a fake one but what beats Marco, really?) credit, he threw his head back and laughed. My smart ass mouth, I’m sure, is part of the reason he likes me.

I wasn’t absolutely certain Marco had a crush on me, other than doing things like the checking in all.the.damn.time but today, today I was officially informed.

My hugely pregnant co-worker (not to be confused with the co-worker who just had her baby, or the co-worker who just found out she was pregnant) was sitting in my cube when Marco stopped in for one of his rounds of: Where in the office and/or field is Marco De La Rosa? (I made that last part up, sue me.)

As soon as he left Allie (not her name, but close enough) stage-whispered “he” while silently making a heart figure on her chest and beating it a few times. She then finished off this display with a flourish by pointing both fingers straight at me.

I know I’m not describing it nearly well enough but trust me when I tell you, it was highly amusing.

I figured that Allie may have come to the conclusion on her own as, hello, she’s pregnant… she knows the lay of the land and all of the tricks of the trade that lay upon it. I laughed and asked, “How did you know?”

“He told me”, came her reply.

That? Surprised me. I didn’t know the crush level was high enough to warrant repeating it to another person, a girl, a co-worker that everyone knows I talk to all the time (that girl is my dog, my homie, the reason I stay somewhat sane within those 3 walls - it’s a cube, remember? What I’ll do when she’s on maternity leave is anyone’s guess).

I’m flattered by it all but not interested in the least. I have a man that makes my own heart pound (sometimes in anger, sometimes in a fit of piqué, but always with a lot of love). But, it sure is nice that my newfound joy of not dressing like a slob is being appreciated.

*I’m fully aware that I was pissed at R for a almost a week over his own opposite sex co-worker type situation but if you know nothing else, know I’m the Queen of Double Standards. And sales.