Not So Blonde

Dream on Dreamer

I know hearing about other people’s dreams is about as fascinating as hearing them recite their grocery list but I’m upset about this one so I have to talk about it.

It all started with (this actually happened but I’m saying I think this is what may have precipitated the dream) when I called R on the drive home from work yesterday. He’s not normally in his room around those hours but sometimes, I’ll call knowing he’s not there and leave messages. It makes me feel better so shut it.

It’s not like it’s a LOT of messages but it still is kind of funny, because I’ve told him if he doesn’t get a chance to listen to them the next guy that has that room is going to think his girlfriend is CRAZY. I carry on in messages like the other person is really listening… well, technically they’re LISTENING but… oh, never mind.

Anyway, I called yesterday and he actually answered! I was so happy to hear his voice and he sounded SO good. More like himself and a little more rested (he had been really sick) since he had been lately.

I love R’s voice, always have. I remember the first time we talked on the phone I was - well. Let’s just say I was a little um… like a light bulb (turned on, duh).

R said he had walked in the door minutes before, after being gone for 2 days so I had great timing. WOOT. That’s awesome. Normally, I’d call 2 seconds AFTER he left the room. True story. We have the worst timing! We do!

We talked for a while and I asked R why he seemed testy about me redecorating and of course he said he wasn’t. He said he’s glad I’m keeping busy, blah blah. Sure you are, buddy! Wait til you get a load of the purple flowers!

We hang up and I get home, I warmed up some frozen meal or another. I laid down and barely stayed awake through Next Food Network Star and passed out 5 minutes before the end, around 8pm. SAD DAY. Rather, LONG WEEK.

I had a really restless sleep, I usually do when I leave my contacts in. I kept waking up and looking at the clock and going back to sleep again.

I don’t remember how the dream started but the summary of it is, R started dating while he was away. He’d find this hilarious since lately he barely gets a chance to take a leisurely dump, much less DATE.

One girl that he met comes up to him (nutshell version, I remember more but I’m sparing you the details) and kind of pushed me aside and goes to hug him. Oh dear me. *sign of the cross*

I push her away (not hard, but hard enough) and R looks over at me like I’m crazy. He then pushes ME away and goes to give her a hug back.

That’s when I woke up, at 5:30am, realizing I hadn’t set my alarm. Shit. Why’d I wake up then? I kinda wanted to stay in the dream a little longer so I could have seen the part where I kicked R’s ass.

So what does this dream mean, internet??

1) Did I have this dream because R sounded more like himself on the phone than he has lately? Thereby, reminding me that my boyfriend is HOT STUFF? (He is.)

2) Does the woman represent the Navy? (This one is my favorite!)

3) Do dreams mean the opposite of what’s really happening? My mom has long held this to be true, even when I dreamt the kid was a boy when I was pregnant with him. She then became convinced it was a girl but oh ho ho, she was WRONG.

I guess it doesn’t really matter what it means but I can’t even tell you how sad it made me when I woke up this morning. It’s one of those times you’d give your boyfriend a tight hug, and dig your nails into his back and say: If you ever pull some shit like that…

But, R’s gone… lucky him. ;)

I need to stay off people.com

Because celebrities are much too much fodder for irritation. Case in point:

I get it that women can’t seem to put away the Uggs. I thought these gems were Uggs at first but on second viewing, I see they are mere boots. No matter, because plenty of people still wear both. In summer.

So, Uggs… I thought at some point they’d fly up to the Out section of Style Heaven in the sky - to be welcomed by the outstretched elastic legs of stirrup pants… but, no. The Uggs are still here.

I don’t hate them, exactly, but they’re not my choice in footwear. I’m sure they’re comfy, like a warm fleece blankie. But I live in Arizona and there’s really no time that the temperature is cold enough to wear them. NO THERE IS NOT STOP LYING RIGHT NOW.

Regular boots, yes, for about a month and a half. They have a time and a place, summer not being it. That said, I beseech the women in Phoenix to put the boots up, bitch! Put ‘em away! It’s 115 degrees outside! Buy some freaking flip flops! You’re making me hot just looking at your unseasonably dumb ass!

Back to Hillary. Her ass is in California and while I know y’alls temps dropped after your (4 day long - I’m bitter) heat wave, they can’t have dropped THAT much. It’s still summer, and it’s still California. It never rains in Southern California and all that.

With that in mind I screech: BOOTS AND A SCARF? With shorts? Really, Hillary, REALLY?

That Vanessa Hussy-gens article yesterday and this today I have to say that sometimes, I truly feel celebrities just like to fuck with us. They’re laughing at as, they have to be. They want to see if we follow their lead and when we do, they then can laugh and giggle in their retribution for us reading (and believing) those assholes at TMZ and that crap ass US magazine.

Unless. Hillary has a scarf covering a newly received hickey. Well! That changes the story altogether. I applaud her ingenious!

Why, when I was 17 and after I received my first (yes, my first at 17 and not a year sooner) hickey - I told my mom I burnt myself with the curling iron! The next time it happened (shut it), I told her I was allergic to my perfume!

So a scarf, huh? Yeah, okay, that explains that… but, what the hell’s up with the boots?

P.S. Her man looks like Tom Brady so I hate him on sight. The End.