In the foxhole
I’m not really digging this wine. Shame! Not only do I like the name, it’s one of the wines we sold at the wine brokerage I worked at in Portland.
Was that a cool job or was that a cool job? I had no idea how lucky I was, but, I had no idea about a lot of things back when I was 24. I mean, who does, really?
*No offense to any 24 year olds out there.
The smartest thing I ever did when I was 24 was divorce you know who. I thought my life was over, can you believe that? Life over at 24… pssht. It was only just beginning. If I had only known that, then. Like Jen: This is Me, Then…
What a stupid, stupid name for an album. I know that is neither here nor there but really, what the hell is that supposed to mean, anyway?
I had no plans to talk about any of this, least of all Jen, it must be the wine. Have you ever noticed the longer you drink wine you might not like, the better it tastes? ‘Tis true.
So, I think R and I are engaged. Ha. Like how I slipped that in?
I don’t know what it is but I’ve had weddings on the brain lately. It just seems that it’s the type of year where a lot of people are getting engaged, getting married and having babies. Or, having babies, getting engaged and getting married. But that’s mostly in Hollywood.
Either way, it’s happening a lot. I’ve found myself staring at wedding pictures, my mind wandering over all those small, special details. I drift into David’s Bridal as if on a cloud while I run my hands lovingly over the racks of satin and lace.
Haha. I’m kidding about the last part. I AM. Stop looking at me like that.
ANYWAY, tonight when I got home from work I was checking my email and R was sitting on the bed. R has been spoiling me a lot lately as far as doing stuff around the house, picking up M and dropping him off, cooking - being really sweet in general.
I think this is mostly because when he finally goes, he’s going to be gone a long, long time. But we’re not talking about that.
I’m on the computer and R is on the bed and I said: I have a serious question for you…
R is used to me by now and I’m sure he thought I was going to hit him with: Do you like these earrings or these earrings? Or, do you think I look better blonde, or brunette?
No.
I hit him with: “Are we going to get married one day?”
He laughed and said something about how I really meant it this time when I said “serious”. Then he said, “Yes, but it’s not going to be for a while.”
Gulp. How long is … “a while”? Will I be, like 50? Will I be all… old in my white (yes I’m gonna wear white, shut up) dress?
“Um, what do you mean by “a while”?
“Like 2 years…”
Is he freaking serious? It’s going to take that long to plan the damn thing. Places are probably booked until at least then. I have many, many trips to the bridal store ahead of me. TWO YEARS - that’s nothing.
~~~
I left off here last night because I started watching Alive Day on HBO. If that doesn’t make your problems and life’s issues feel small, I don’t know what will.
Not only that but I hesitated posting this since it may not seem like a big deal to some, or not all that romantic, or even that I may be pushing for an answer out of R.
But I decided to post it anyway because I really don’t care what people think. I know that he loves me but I also know that sometimes, things can’t always be romantic. Some times in life, bigger issues need to be tackled and dealt with before you are free to do something fun like… plan a wedding. :) YES I WILL MAKE IT FUN. Promise.
Believe you me, I’ve taken the back seat to far less important things in a man’s life (cough *baseball* cough) so I’m not exactly feeling slighted right now. Oh, serving our country… I think I can handle that.
So Memorial Day is coming up and most view it as just another 3 day weekend, I know I used to, but take the time to think of those that have made the ultimate sacrifice to keep us safe.
Yes, even you, little troll who likes to leave nasty comments about the military. Think of all those men and women who have served our country so you can sit on your ass and talk shit to people online. IT’S A BEAUTIFUL THING.
To wrap things up, I had a blow out on the freeway this morning. SCARY ASS SHIT. I immediately called R and he came running. I got really sad thinking about what I’m going to do when he’s not around to be able to call, to come running to rescue me.
But, then, I realized… I’m a big girl. I’ve dealt with worse. But it sure is nice to have him around to hug! Big ups to Jose’s Roadside Service - he rocks. $20 for a new (gently used) tire and I was on my way. Don’t sweat the small stuff! That’s my new motto.
All right, kids, billing this week which means I need to stop screwing around on my blog and get back to work. Toodles. xoxo
P.S. I’m well aware that R and I aren’t “engaged” engaged. I’m gonna need a ring before sending out announcements, thanks. :D