These are my confessions
I have to say something nice about R after portraying him in the not most flattering light in the entire last post.
Ready?
He never goes to bed with dishes in the sink.
Will you think of less of me if I confess I HAVE left dirty dishes in the sink… *wince* over night? Gaaaaaaaaaahhhhh…. I’ve done it! I admit it!
You see, there are some evenings that I’m so freaking tired from work, cooking, yelling at the teen, getting ready for the next work day… and I hate leaving dirty dishes uncleansed, I do! Swear it!
In my defense, it’s not as if I flounce into the bedroom with no care in the world. It really does bother me going to bed with a messy, potentially ant/roach/bug trap of a kitchen.
I’ve found myself gazing into the sink, willing those dirty plates, forks, knives, spoons, glasses clean. Kind of wiggle my nose like Samantha from Bewitched. Question: Why did this bee ever do housework? When she could wiggle her nose and call it a day?
Another thing: I’ve been using “bee” a lot lately since I’m trying to cut down on cussing. It works quite well. But I do hope that when people see me use it, I don’t mean a cute fluffy black and yellow bumble bee, but, more like a damn bee! A stinky, stank bee! Damn! BEEEEE!
Back to the dishes. After staring into the sink for a few minutes, I say screw this… and take my butt to bed. SOME NIGHTS. Okay? I said some.
Last night, I wanted R to come watch TV in the bedroom with me, I wanted to relax with him and my back hurt way too much to brave the couch.
He came in the room and said he couldn’t lay down yet, he had to clean the kitchen. I didn’t argue with him. I mean, hello! Who would? Not this bee.
So see, R does nice things. Sometimes. And I do the dishes the next day. Sometimes!
That confession doesn’t have quite enough meat on it. I’ll give you another one.
The teen is at a stage where, how shall I put this… he’s a bit lax on his personal hygiene. I have to remind him (repeatedly) to brush his teeth, practically beg him to take a shower - and - he’d probably wear the same navy blue polo shirt every day to school if I let him. Unwashed.
I have talked to the ladies at work and they all have assured me that this will change when the teen enters high school next year.
While I’d love to have this soonish-to-be grown man shower or brush his teeth, maybe even clean his own clothes without prompting from his MOTHER… the idea of this NEW MAN entering high school kinda scares me.
And need I remind you, we’re not talking about things that scare me this post. That will be next post where I speak of things like spiders, snakes, empty vodka bottles and Keith Olbermann.
Monday morning rolls around way too soon after the solitude that was my Mother’s Day (R didn’t really ruin the day, I’m a drama queen. We don’t siss boom bah any holidays around here) and I had a cup of coffee while I was getting ready.
Normally, I don’t drink coffee at home as I take 2 travel mugs of coffee to work with me. I wait to enjoy them at my desk and kill at least 10, 15 minutes of the work day. Well that and the coffee in any given office usually tastes something like MUD or ASS.
Sadly, one of the two travel mugs that I use broke last week so I’m down to one. AND OMG. HOW THIS PAINS ME.
There I am bright and early Monday morning, putting on my Bare Minerals (LOVE) and drinking some coffee while prodding the kid along in getting ready.
That day, I had to have asked him no less than 4 times if he brushed his teeth. On one hand, I don’t want girls to find him attractive but on the other, I don’t want MY son being the one that no girls talk to cuz he has stank breath.
I finish up getting ready, guzzle the rest of the coffee, grab the kid by the nape of his (clean!) blue polo and fly out the door.
I did have one of my travel mugs of coffee at my desk that day. I did. I enjoyed it. I did. But after I was finished I lamented to myself (where all good lamenting should be directed), that my teeth don’t normally feel this fuzzy, do they?
I drink coffee every day, copious amounts of it, even. My teeth still usually feel relatively… clean. And then, it hit me: I forgot to brush my damn teeth.
Ain’t that about a bee?
14 Responses to “These are my confessions”
Nicola on May 14, 2008 | Reply
Hehe, don’t tell the kid! You’ll never hear the end of it… I keep a toothbrush and toothpaste in my drawer at work. I used to hit the gym early and eat breakfast at work. That didn’t last long, but the toothbrush still comes in handy for those days I’m running late or forget!
Vee on May 15, 2008 | Reply
Cody’s grooming habits are atrocious as well. I made him brush his teeth the other morning and he told me I’m ruining his life.
Also - he thinks he doesn’t have to brush his teeth on the weekend because “he doesn’t have school”.
MissPrissy on May 15, 2008 | Reply
My 21 year old step-daughter said “he called him and Em Effer” and it cracked me up.
Boys seem to go through that phase, and I don’t know how but they still manage to have girls chase them, sorry to burst your bubble, LOL!
The coffee at my office taste like, not just add but dirty monkey ass….how can you make coffee that bad?? ugh!
MissPrissy on May 15, 2008 | Reply
Not “add” is supposed to be “ass”. This Bee can’t type worth Essss!
inga on May 15, 2008 | Reply
Lol! Don’t feel bad; I leave dirty dishes in the sink overnight as well. I think I’m going to stop doing that. Seriously.
Jo on May 15, 2008 | Reply
I HATE HATE HATE dishes in the sink over night. BUT I do it all the time. The older I get the lazier. Da teen ABHORS (that’s like 3x’s my hate) doing dishes!!! So, he doesn’t do them unless I ask nicely or he’s feeling particularly nice or I’m tired or I say hey do the dishes (that one is a bit hit or miss sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t).
As for leaving the house w/o brushing…which day was this because Monday I had to come BACK upstairs because I forgot! What da beeeeeee!
Oh and @Inga…you can do that you live alone! Mare and I, we have examples to set!!!! *LMAO* not that i’m all that good at it!
Friglet on May 15, 2008 | Reply
Don’t worry, he will drastically change his hygiene when he hits high school and starts chasing the hotties. ;)
Kari on May 15, 2008 | Reply
I’ve been trying to tone down on my swearing lately to. Thus far it seems to be working fairly well, but who knows how long that will last :-)
nancy k on May 15, 2008 | Reply
i am a dishes slob. there. i admit it. sadly, that is only one of my flavors of slob.
but i am persnickity on the hygeine. that the kiddo is lax there annoys me to no end.
hope it’s true that they grow out of it!!!
and p.s…i don’t get the allure of coffee. i take my caffeine cold. weirdo, huh?
Angel on May 15, 2008 | Reply
R is a good man! I myself can not leave a messy kitchen when I go to bed too…the rest of the house can be chaos…not the kitchen.
You crack me up, I also keep a toothbrush/toothpaste and deordarent(sp) in my desk. Because like you, I know getting boys to get moving let alone ready in the morning is no easy task!! About once a week we have to turn around so my son can take the meds I forgot to give him, I really just need to keep a dose in my purse. I finally started doing that with the night time ones!
I have started drinking coffee and its evil, because now I am like, “dayem I need *need* a cup of coffee” like I am Carol Brady or something.
admin on May 16, 2008 | Reply
admin on May 16, 2008 | Reply
trac on May 21, 2008 | Reply
good gracious, that was funny.
Ryan is the worst. No, I take that back- I guess he did get better once he started high school- more willing to take showers without being prompted (I started buying him Suave Body Wash for Men, and that kinda did it for us)…..but the teeth? Man, it’s STILL a struggle with that boy.
admin on May 22, 2008 | Reply