Not So Blonde

I don’t like Mondays. Or Tuesdays.

I woke up this morning a few minutes early. It’s a sickness, for every year older I get up 20 minutes earlier. By the time I hit 50 I’ll be up with the birds like all the other old folks.

This morning I looked at the clock and my mind started working its sleepytime logic and I decided I could sleep for 10 more minutes. What is 10 more minutes going to do for me? What does 10 more minutes do for anyone? Well… *blush* ANYWAY!

I’m going to learn these lessons, here and now:

1 ) If I wake 10 minutes earlier than what alarm is set for I will, from now on, GET UP. Especially if I’m feeling relatively good like I did this morning. Sleeping for 30 more minutes (20 minutes later than I should) isn’t going to do much in the way of feeling rested when that “rushed” feeling can’t be shaken - all day.

2 ) It’s probably not the best idea to have the alarm tuned to KYOT, the relaxation station. Instead of waking me, I just listened to smooth jazz for those 20 minutes when I should have BEEN UP GETTING READY.

2a ) That dream involving R, David Sanborn and lemon cake cookies? Soooo not worth it.

3 ) When forced to put makeup on in the parking lot at the office, proceed slowly when mascara wand is in hand. It is not wise to rush, and this much becomes obvious when mascara is swiped ALL over freshly applied eyeshadow. Because then, it will look like Exxon Valdez spilled all over eye area.

4 ) Once eye area is cleansed of black goop and eyeshadow is redone as best as it can be (at 3 minutes to 7), I will definitely be sure to use extreme caution as to not get stray mascara on contacts.

5 ) Once I get stray mascara onto contact and remove it from eye…

6 ) I vow to not hold it under running water in order to cleanse it.

7 ) Especially when contact is brand new, out of the packet that very morning.

8 ) I will promise, from this day forward, to keep spare pair in purse. When I don’t have a need for the spares for the next 4 months I will not, under any circumstances, take them out in order to make room for yet another lip gloss.

9 ) Otherwise, I will be forced to one eye it all day. Like I did today. I now know how pirates feel. Ar.

9a ) This is especially fun when filing.

9b ) And putting submittals together.

9c ) Putting submittals together for big project.

9d ) Big, BIG project.

10) When I fail to heed these warnings, wearing lovely new BCBG sweater that my personal shopper (Nic) presented me with this weekend, will not seem quite as much fun. And that is way too high of a price to pay - ever.