Not So Blonde

Smiling with my mouth

It occurred to me on the drive in this morning that growing up, I was ill prepared for the aggravation that is traffic. I wracked my brain trying to think of someone to blame because I am, after all, me and there is always someone to blame.

My mind finally landed on my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Stevenson. See, Mrs. Stevenson insisted that we all line up in order, were courteous to those classmates in front (no poking!) and behind us (no tripping!), and by God, there would NEVER be ANY cuts in line.

What Mrs. Stevenson should have done is prepared us impressionable youths with some cold, hard facts on how life would turn out to be: NOT FAIR. She should have warned us that people cut. Mrs. Stevenson should have said: “Sometimes, assholes cut in line. Instead of getting upset, take a deep breath and keep on driving walking.”

The same people that cut you off are the very same people that jumped the line for recess. Bet!

My lipstick and lip gloss are at war on my face. I don’t like anything warring on my face, least of all on the feature I take most pride in… I love my mouth, sue me. Most people love my eyes but that’s only when my eyes are smiling at them like how Tyra taught me.

So the lipstick is MAC and the lip gloss is… not. Honestly, if you must know, it’s some crap I picked up at Walgreens since I use lip gloss like a whore with a busy night on the block: reapply, reapply, reapply…

I looked in the mirror and Viva refused to be seen with Nameless Gloss. Lipstick was all mottled, gloss was all – What? What did I do? I’m thinking that drugstore makeup and department store varieties must have similar caste systems like that of humans: They will never get along - one will always think they’re better than the other…

In closing, I’ve just realized that I haven’t thought of Mrs. Stevenson in years, and I conjure her up only to blame her for this morning’s traffic. Now, I’m comparing makeup to people. If that isn’t a sign I need more coffee, I don’t know what is.

P.S. Save yourselves from this. It tastes like pretzels.

P.S.S. Below, The Almighty Meme of 2008. I can’t think of any new questions and I’m not sure who hasn’t been tagged yet. If that’s you: Tag! You’re it!

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
How about the age I wish I didn’t marry: 20. HOW DUMB WAS I?

2. What color do you like most?
Pink I guess. Colors aren’t really my thing. For instance, most of my clothes are black, beige and white.

3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Spain so I can meet my cousins, Luxembourg so I can see my other cousin

4. Which part of you do you hate the most?
My belly! No matter how much I work out I still feel like I look 5 months (at least) pregnant.

5. When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do?
Fucking cry

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
R

7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Pay off debts, buy a house, new car, pay for the kid’s college tuition… normal shit.

8. What’s your wish for the year ahead?
Nothing bad happen to anyone close to me

9. How did you celebrate the New Year?
Made yummy pizza for the kid and R, followed by brownies a la mode for dessert. Got tipsy off champagne with R and hit the bed about 2am. Twas fun.

10. Till now, what is the moment that you regret the most?
Meh. I can’t go back and change anything from the past so why dwell on it?

11. Which type of person do you hate the most?
Stupid people!

12. What is your ambition?
To be happy with career, love life, motherhood. My answer is as broad as the question. :)

13. If you had one wish what would you wish for?
Win the million dollars from #7. Hey, the rest of y’all are wishing for world peace so its bound to come thru sooner or later.

14. Name one of your body part your hubby or boyfriend tells you he adores:
R never tells me he “adores” anything, its not his way. But he really seems to like my ass. That sounds so BAD.

15. What is the best gift you can give someone this year?
My time. lol

16. List two of your Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions.
Work out harder at the gym; redecorate my bedroom.

17. What do you need to do this year in order for you to be happier in life?
Take writing more seriously.

18. What are the Top 2 things that you are most thankful for the year 2007 that made you even more happier for 2008?
Honestly, pretty much all of 2007 sucked major assholio and I may have learned a few things but I’m not exactly thankful for them.

19. What was the best lesson you learned in 2007 (be specific)?
Life is precious. That’s as specific as I’m going to get.

20. In this very moment, are you doing what you thought you’d be doing at this stage in your life?
I had no idea I’d be with the love of my life and I’m happy and grateful for R. The kid is, for the most part, happy and I like my job well enough. Things aren’t exactly as I want them to be but I can’t complain.