Earth, Wind and Pumpkins

10/20/2005 – 11:28 am | by Blondie

Lil’ Fidel is with me all this week. This is the new nickname bestowed on the kid by R. I’m glad I have Fidel the littlest Dictator now, the week before I start my new job because it has been forcing me to get up early to take him to school. Not quite as early as I will need to, but close enough. Ya see, in order to have those short Fridays the M-Th workdays are from 7:30 to 5:30. It’s going to take some getting used to, for sure. Not so much the longer hours cause once I’m up, I’m up - but that 7:30 gives me a headache right now looking at it.

*Yawn* I’m on my 2nd 3rd cup of coffee as I type. I bartend the afternoon shift today and I’m kinda worried. Thursdays get busy. I just know I’ll get all these orders for shit like Colorado Bulldogs that I don’t know how to make and I’ll go, “Umm… miiiiiiiiilk. Umm… Kahluaaa… At least, I think its Kahlua. Oh God, what else-what else-what ellllllse?!”

I hate looking stupid, that’s the problem. What I really need to be worried about is if I’m not busy. See, on Monday we had absolutely no patrons for the entire first hour of my shift. I was there all by my lonesome watching the news on one of the TVs with the emergency necklace firmly in my grasp. It’s this buzzer thing we have to wear when we’re at the bar alone and if we hit the button, the police come. Or, they’re supposed to come. I’ve never tried it so maybe it doesn’t really do anything. Regardless, I was clutching that thing like I was about to fall and wouldn’t be able to get up.

Picture it: A very dark cocktail lounge. Dimly lit decorative Jack-o’-lanterns strewn about the empty tables are casting an ominous glow. It’s been raining all day with thunder so loud you can hear it over the old school R n’ B thumping on the sound system. Who knew September could sound so sinister?

Ba de ya
Say do you remember
Ba de ya
Dancing in September
Ba de ya
Never was a cloudy day

You’re trying very hard to hold it together even though every little noise is making you jump out of your skin. Ba-du, ba-du, ba-du, ba-du, ba-du - You can hear the rain getting louder and louder, pounding mercilessly on the metal roof when suddenly! The CLAP of lightning! All the lit pumpkins are flickering - off, on, off, on, off, on.


Ba de, ba de, ba de yaaaaaa

It went on like that for well over 30 minutes - all the way through Love Come Down, Early in the Morning and right on past I Need Your Lovin’. Finally, someone in need of an after-work cocktail made his way through the front door. I have never been so happy to see a day-drinker in all of my life and dude is definitely lucky he came in when he did. I was thisclose to racing out of there, hopping in my car and coming straight home - never to return. Bring on the Bulldogs, shit. I ain’t scared of no bulldogs! It’s the plastic pumpkins and EW&F that give me the willies!

I really want one of these. Will someone be so kind to get me one? No? Just thought I’d ask. I’m trying to decide whether I want one bad enough that it would be okay if R got it for me. Not that he said he would but he knows I want one real bad. I think boyfriends/husbands are banned from getting their women such items, aren’t they? Cause, you know, R may hand that to me on the wrong day at the wrong time of the month and my head is likely to spin around while I hiss, “So, what? My apartment is not cleeeeeeean enough for you, assssshole?!” I think I’ll just go get it myself. Heh. Happy Thursday, y’all!

Edit: I ended up working a double shift Thursday. There won’t be any more talk about being nervous or not knowing how to make stuff, I can tell you that. I guess, a double will do it! It was a lot of work and I’m sore as hell. My feet, R, MY FEET! Not only that, but I’ve now convinced myself and one of the managers there is a ghost that resides in the bar. See, the place I work at has been around for over 40 years and is somewhat of a Phoenix landmark, to give you some background on how freaking old and creepy the place can be.

Yesterday, the female manager met me up at work to help me open. I asked her where the switch for those damn pumpkin lights was at and she directs me over to the back wall. All the pumpkins are connected to a dimmer and I turned up the dial and went back behind the bar. Why - about an hour later - when I’ve been by myself save for one chatty lady drinking a beer, I look up and ALL the pumpkins have gone dark? There is a ghost, I tell you, A GHOST!!!!!! I can’t wait til Halloween is over! Thanks to Uncle J for kicking it with the kid last night! You rock! Manhattans are on me! I need a nap! And a heating pad! Bye all!

  1. 18 Responses to “Earth, Wind and Pumpkins”

  2. laurie on Oct 20, 2005 | Reply

    good luck with the drink making! make us all proud! hehe.

    I will try. Sigh!

  3. grayse on Oct 20, 2005 | Reply

    R is a genius. Lil Fidel!?!?! ROFL *falls out*

    I can see how your bar would be spooky by yourself and with Halloween decorations. Bless your heart!

    Anyways- youll do fine this afternoon. Just show some skin and they’ll get over it!

    It was very spooky. :( I had to count to 10. Five times. I don’t show skin during the day, only at night. Night drinkers need to practically have the money pried out of their hand while day drinkers tend to be free-er with the bills. Heh.

  4. sunshine on Oct 20, 2005 | Reply

    That is too funny Mary. My boyfriend and I saw the commercial for that Bissel thing together and we both wanted it! We’re dorks!

    The commercial came on this weekend while R was here, that like, 10 minute long commercial. I sat on the couch with my head cocked to the side, drool coming out the side of my mouth. I so desperately want one! I’m buying one with my first paycheck at the new job and I’ll tell you how it is!

  5. Reclusivegirl on Oct 20, 2005 | Reply

    I love Colorado Bulldogs, but I promise if I ever head out to Phoenix again I will not order one from you :) Perhaps a Vodka split? Ha ha. Keep on smiling!

    Is that a club soda/7-Up mix? No? Oh jeez. Why oh why do they leave me alone at the bar?!??! I have yet to taste a Bulldog myself but I was told the way to make them is like a White Russian with a splash of coke. Maybe I’d be able to wing it. Hmmm…

  6. Daisy Mae on Oct 20, 2005 | Reply

    No shit! You aren’t going to believe this but I was lusting over that very Bissel this morning. Of course it was after the puppy that I am puppy sitting peed on the TV room floor and after the bunny poop fell all over the guest room floor when I was cleaning the bunny cage of the bunny I am pet sitting for. It would be better on my budget if I just didn’t pet sit and then I wouldn’t need a cool Bissel like that. But for now I have a poopy and pissy house.

    OR you can charge for all the pet sitting to offset the cost of the Bissel! Yay! We’ll all have them! I want a little puppy but the Bissel is going to have to do a whole lot more for me to consider getting one! Good luck this weekend. ;)

  7. AC on Oct 20, 2005 | Reply

    Hey I live in the Phx area too, well- Chandler actually which is pretty far south. What part of Phx are you in? Maybe I’ll come by and order a CBD sometime ;) Heh- juuust kiddin’.

    I can make them now! I can, I can - I swear! The bar I work at is in downtown/Central Phoenix so pretty far for you! So you can only have one CBD. :)

  8. Rhonda on Oct 21, 2005 | Reply

    Oh man I want a spot bot! That thing looks outstanding.

    The Capri Sun stains on the floor are staring at me as I type. I will have one by next pay day! I must!

  9. Garrison Steelle on Oct 21, 2005 | Reply

    So, does this mean … wait … no, it can’t.

    Well, maybe.

    So, Mary, how are ya? ;)

    -G

    Huh? Who? Wha? :) I’m great, G, how are you - my dear?!

  10. Margaret in Germany on Oct 21, 2005 | Reply

    Wow!!! Your very own Fidel!!

    About the spooky bar…when you are alone, play your own music. Loud.

    The CD player has been skipping a lot lately. Yesterday, Outstanding came on so I went over and stared at the stereo, the song never skipped even once. Walk away, and the CDs are skipping all over the place. It’s a Ghost! Damn Ghosts don’t like old school funk and r n’b!

  11. Jewels on Oct 21, 2005 | Reply

    Creepy!

    Lil’ Fidel - that is great. I need to come up with a name for my kids!!

    Well if he weren’t such a dictating Dictator - trust me, he EARNED that name!

  12. Jeff on Oct 21, 2005 | Reply

    Is it just me, or does the SpotBot look disturbingly like one of those old Ford Pintos from back in the 1970s? I half have an urge to jump in and start driving the SOB. CRAZY TALK!

    The Pinto would probably be cheaper! Wonder if it’d clean my carpet?? I’ve updated my links, love the new look, Jeff!

  13. Josh on Oct 22, 2005 | Reply

    I have one of those Bissel hand steam cleaners and hey are awesome. The only problem is, once you clean a spot, the rest of the carpet looks like shit. I am getting all new wood floors in soon, so I will have no more need for my doggy pee picker upper.

    Well, shit. That sucks. I still want it, though, because of the attachment to which I can finally clean my damn couches! Good lord they need some soap and water - stat!

  14. Neil on Oct 23, 2005 | Reply

    Your pumpkin reminded me that I need to go buy candy for all the little Fidels coming by on Halloween.

    Luckily, I don’t get many lil’ Fidels so I don’t need to buy any. I’ll probably be working anyway, passing out adult candy in the form of Chocolate Martinis to the big Fidels!

  15. Melinda on Oct 24, 2005 | Reply

    Scurry!! Lil fidel! Love it, lol. Do you know i told my hubby it would be OK this one time if he got me that for my B-day! LOL but i said you can only buy shit like this if i tell you its OK, NEVER EVER EVER with out my say so!! lol

    Yeah I think that’s the only time it’s okay - if we say so! AHHAHAHAHAHA They still need to buy at their own risk, though, because I don’t know about you but I’ve been known to change my mind - on occasion! Hehe.

  16. Melinda on Oct 25, 2005 | Reply

    Go here if you get a chance http://wineandmartinis.blogspot.com/

    I’ll get the link up, sweetie! Thanks for letting me know.

  17. sid on Oct 25, 2005 | Reply

    OMG, just read your ed. LOL!

    Only out west can one consider a place 40 years old, “old!” I loved that! Mayne, we got houses from the 1700s in my parents’ neighborhood! Of course, the euro types like to rub in that even that isn’t *that* old, wiht their 1000 year old castle ruins and shiz…. oh, kidding, hugs for mary!

    I know what you mean, especially in Phoenix. They wanted to tear this place down a few years ago to build a drugstore over it but it got a reprieve from the wrecking ball. Its still creepy, though, because its pretty much preserved in its original state. Same wallpaper, furnishings, etc. Plus its so dark. *shiver* I swear its haunted!

  18. sid on Oct 25, 2005 | Reply

    also, just when are you coming back this way, missy?

    I’m hoping in December because some friends from work are going but I’ll keep ya posted for sure! We need to get some sushi!

  19. muffin on Nov 1, 2005 | Reply

    the bissell looks vicious! i need one of dem!

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